Monday, June 12, 2006

It isn't the fact that your licked that counts,

I am faced with a challenge in late July that requires months of work (I have been preparing since January). The outcome of this challenge is binary: pass or fail; there is no other metric. There is not need to perform unusually well, no awarded prize in excellence, no superlative bonus. All but one of my friends has told me that I should relax, take my time, and not try too hard.

They forget: excellence is an end in itself. The purpose of high achievement is neither applause nor adulation. The purpose of high achievement lies within: there is nothing without effort, and we ought never do things that matter, regardless of how they are measured, with minimum attempt. To pass -- what good is mere passing? The event, any event, is not an end in itself. Our level of attempt and effort, each and every day, is a shadow of our soul, reflecting the true nature of our character. It doesn't matter what we do, so long as we do it well.

I seek here neither the admiration, nor the adulation, nor the appreciation of others. I seek here not the internal respect that derives from a job well done. I seek the dignity of knowing that I did my best. That I left no volitional act untouched, no minute needlessly wasted.

Excellence is an end in itself, and I intend to excel. No action is without reaction, however. My stress level will, and has, skyrocketed. I enjoy the daily minute less. I am constantly concerned and I don't sleep as well. A friend told me I looked pale(er than usual). But I am content in knowing that I am doing my best, putting forth my full physical and mental effort. The end result of this challenge is of marginal importance when compared to the effort put in. The triumph of high achievement or the failure while daring greatly indeed.

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7/12/2006 12:41 AM  

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